Improving these problems will go a long way to boosting your sex life back up as well. Having sex is an extremely vulnerable act. Before you ask, yes he used to be into me sexually. If your boyfriend is sick or injured, then he may need his space and time alone to heal properly. on My Boyfriend Doesnt Seem Interested in Me Sexually Anymore: What Can I Do? Perhaps your friends think that he is losing interest in you. This should be a red flag to you because the lack intimate activity between the two of you will soon lead to problems in your relationship. He is unhappy with the state of your relationship. It's all too easy to avoid talking about precisely what you like and don't like. Sometimes people just need some time away from each other even if they really love one another. That's it. For years I was convinced it was true for 99% of guys until I started experiencing the exact opposite problem. If his actions do not match up with his words, then this might end up hurting you because he may be lying in order to protect himself. This one may seem obvious, but lots of women brush off sex simply because they dont understand how important it is for their mans mental health. Heres a look at 10 ways to improve the situation. If so, he might be suffering from anxiety or depression, which can put a huge damper on his desire for you. Giving him compliments and putting in the effort to show you find him sexy might be all he needs to get excited about you again. This is simply not true! Thats a sure way to kill the mood! Several times he's asked for a hand/blowjob but doesn't touch me throughout and once he finishes he just goes to sleep despite me asking if he would be able to play with me a bit as I get excited touching him. Otherwise, it may end up with such a thought in your mind I dont want my boyfriend to touch me anymore.. Sometimes we like to jump to conclusions and assume that we know whats going on in our partners mind. In this case, its best to just bring it up a bit as a joke and try to ease into the subject. Dont forget to enjoy it! Sometimes people simply dont want to forgive easily after a big fight, but instead prefer silent treatment. Dont underestimate how much external stress can have on your mans sex drive. My boyfriend can't stay hard during sex. AMC. Spice it up with different locations! This would not be a healthy relationship because you should feel loved by your partner and he would also have to show that love as well. If hes had a recent traumatic life event or something else is bothering him including family problems, business issues or more then his mind could be way off track with sex thoughts. We still have sex maybe once a month or every other month. Even in serious relationships, its very possible to be on different pages about many things. Has your boyfriend seemed unlike himself lately? Ask him what he does find attractive (not concerning the 'outer wrapper') You both need to get into the habit of reminding each other what you do like, love and find attractive about each other. "please hug me and tell me you love me. Think about the times you willingly want to spend with him: When he offers to go on a walk with you or take you out for ice cream, thats your cue that he might be interested in something more (like making out behind the ice cream store). Raymond Green has tips, notes two potential indicators. Either together or with the help of a therapist, couples should discuss their views on masturbation in their relationship and come to an agreement that both parties feel comfortable with.. How Can I Get My Boyfriend Interested in Me Again Sexually? When someone is really into you on a physical level, they will overlook all the little annoying quirks you have. My Boyfriend Doesn't Seem Interested in Me Sexually Anymore: 11 Reasons He's Lost Interest 1. As sad as it is, a full lack of attraction from him is not something you should be expected to stomach for the rest of your life. He wants to avoid disappointing you as the woman he loves. A few compliments are bound to go a long way. What do you think men really want from a woman when it comes to sex and intimacy? As one of the best sex therapists Dr. Ruth Westheimer puts it: When it comes to sex, the most important six inches are the ones between the ears.. I will go to touch him and he moves my hand away or just walks away. Often, the man himself has no idea whats going on, but he can easily be educated on how to bring pleasure to his partner. Whatever reason he gives you for his lack of sexual interest, remember that men are sensitive too, even if they dont show it. As a matter of fact, this would tell you that there is something going on in his mind that is causing him not to think clearly. If you make sex a little harder to get and leave him wanting more then hes likely to start getting more turned on again and lusting after you like he used to do. One way to find out is to beef up his ego men are simple this way make him feel like the man and express interest in being physically close to him maybe rip his clothes off after some time of hanging out with him and stroking his ego. The first time my ex-boyfriend John* and I slept . If you gained significant weight and he's told you he's noticed, there may be a chance that your boyfriend or husband might not find you as attractive as he did when you first got together. Dont be scared of breaking up if you see theres no better way for your couple to come back together after so much effort. He doesn't help you when you're hurting. He is overly stressed from work. Maybe your boyfriend feels like hes unable to please you. Fortunately, there are a number of ways to go about resolving the issues if your boyfriend isnt sweating up the sheets with you. Short answer, lack of communication. Instead, if he wants to do those things with you, hell come up with the idea himself. Right after the first session, your intimate problems wont get better right away, but they will get better with time. When the two of you have unresolved issues, your boyfriend will likely avoid sex with you because he feels unsatisfied with your relationship. But throughout the years you've forgotten that having sex is an all day affair. This will help create a mindset for honest, open, and compassionate communication and limit chances of a blame game happening. Vague complaints can often be misinterpreted by men, who may attach the wrong meaning to the words. As sex addiction therapist Janie Lacy explains, masturbation can go too far: These points are not about whether masturbation itself is healthy or unhealthy, but rather when it could potentially damage the relationship. Sex is most enjoyable when youre in the moment and enjoying the sensations and intimacy. Very into me. He could already have decided to leave the relationship and didnt want to let you know just yet by avoiding any possible confrontations about it. Even when I try to initiate it he doesn't want to. No matter what it is, youre not in the mood for sex right now if hes brought it up before, and youve said no, theres a good chance that you will keep saying no unless something changes. Try to pick a time when both of you are less likely to be busy or distracted. Here are 15 signs he doesnt want you sexually: If your man is stressed at work, this can often affect both his mindset and his libido when he gets home. These took me a while to really figure out, but now that Im fully briefed Im comfortable writing about the reasons my boyfriend didnt seem into me sexually and what to do about it. This problem is usually easily solved with a little coaching. It is simple. It is normal to have ups and downs, but when it becomes constant or prolonged, the intimacy in the relationship suffers. If your boyfriend doesnt seem interested in you sexually anymore, read on to find out what can be done about this situation. What You Should Never Say or Do If You See the Signs He Doesnt Want You Sexually, 17 Steal-Worthy Thank You Letters To Your Boyfriend To Let Him Know You Appreciate All He Does, Are They A Twin Flame Or Soulmate? Because hes getting that honey elsewhere. RELATED:How To Be Genuinely OK With Less Sex In Your Relationship. A lot of guys are very self-conscious about their bodies no matter what anyone says, so why not give him some encouragement? He's closed himself off from you and stopped sharing. Communicating about what you like and dislike in an intimate relationship can make a big difference for everyone involved. By making him wait for a little before giving in to his sexual desires, youre actually encouraging him to respect and appreciate your body even more because he knows its hard for him to access it, and thats something hell value. Whatever it might be, a man who cant make up his mind about anything at all isnt worth being with anyway because he will always need you to take care of everything for him which means your relationship will soon become one-sided. Rekindle that fire. At this point,. What is a big deal requiring your attention and concern is when your boyfriend or husband no longer seems to be attracted to you at all and doesn't want to have sex with you. He's either being respectful, doesn't know how to show affection since he may not have received it growing up or is getting the wrong ques from you. The problem is, I love cuddling and touching, so how do I get him to be more affectionate? Dr Caroline West. If your boyfriend has actual porn addiction or a serious masturbation compulsion thats more serious and can cause erectile dysfunction and all sorts of other problems. Instead, if you want him to be different, tell him how you need and want those changes. He has a physical issue he cant help. He no longer wants to be intimate with me although I make the advances. My boyfriend is my best friend. Yeah, dont be that person. Begin to touch your partner wherever they consent to anywhere but their. In this scenario, you may think why doesnt my boyfriend want to have sex with me? or my boyfriend doesnt make me feel wanted sexually.. Ask yourself if it could be related to stress at work or home, illness, or medication side effects. It's normal for physical attraction and desire to wax and wane over the course of any long-term relationship or marriage. Although sex can help alleviate both, its not something you usually feel like doing if youre down in the dumps or sweating bricks about the future and other worries. He hasn't touched me for nearly 14 years. There may be signs you notice all over your relationship of him losing overall attraction for you and this will also carry over into the bedroom. But, you should also consider the possibility hes cheating on you, especially if youve noticed a personality change in him lately. Communicate with your boyfriend to find out what's been bothering him, then work together to solve any issues. Then do the same with your partner. With the above-mentioned tips, you will be able to create a deeper connection with your partner and make him attracted to you again. This issue is caused by many different factors. 10 Sad-But-True Signs He's Not Attracted To You Anymore, How To Fix A Sexless Marriage Before It's Too Late, No Affection Killing Your Relationship? At Mantra Care, we have a team of therapists who provide affordableonline therapyto assist you with issues such asdepression,anxiety,stress,relationship,OCD,LGBTQ, andPTSD. But showing him every day that hes a priority will help keep him excited about being your partner and wanting to spend time with you physically, too. Ask like a loving girlfriend who just wants to know whats up and why hes not into sex lately. You need to get on the same page before you can really move forward on sexual or any other issues. Its hard to have sex and enjoy it when youre angry at someone, disappointed in them, or upset at them in some way. Women arent the only ones who face self-esteem issues. Giving your boyfriend some time may be just what is needed to get the spark back and make him more willing to engage in sex with you. This can lead to him feeling insecure and not wanting to be close to you physically because he doesnt feel confident enough in who you are as a person. For the first time in my life I'm in a sexless relationship. He doesn't look at me with desire, even when I am naked, and he doesn't touch me in sexual ways unless we were making love. plenty of husband seldom kiss their wives. I don't think he knows this. While your boyfriend might not be playing hard-to-get, he may simply just prefer to avoid touch in certain areas for his personal comfort. Even in long-term relationships, people should still be having sex. Because when it comes to sex, what men really want is for their prowess to be validated. Kindly ask him what's getting in the way of intimacy. -- It's infinitely more likely that he has either psychological, emotional or even biological cause (hormonal imbalance, Low T), than him being asexual. Its not an easy thing to discuss with your partner, but this is one of the most common causes of intimacy issues in relationships. Be sure that youre not mixing up your expectations between what he does and who you actually want him to be. He doesn't enjoy foreplay or being intimate. Not making eye contact could be a sign of someone's reluctance to be fully vulnerable and trusting. Then, really invite your husband to share his experience of what's been happening in the marriage. It's possible that he's been led to believe that acting strong and silent is the only way to be respected or seen as attractive-maybe he fears being seen as clingy-so he's out of touch with his emotional side. If your boyfriend is having erectile and sex drive issues but also doesnt know why then the best idea is to visit an urologist and find out whats wrong. There are plenty of reasons why someone might have an aversion to certain types of physical contact, such as being ticklish or not liking the idea of anything involving saliva (kissing). Untreated mental health issues can cause a strain in your relationship, so encourage him to visit a doctor to get the help he needs. Many factors contribute to this loss of romance, and unfortunately, it may result in diminished intimacy and an aversion to being touched.. What do you do when you find yourself thinking, "I hate being touched by my husband"?. These are the kinds of concerns that may come up because of memories, beliefs, or even worries that he has about something that happened to him in the past that involved touch. Thats why its so important that you never physically push yourself on him, even if its something as simple as a kiss or a touch. My Boyfriend Doesnt Seem Interested in Me Sexually Anymore: 11 Reasons Hes Lost Interest. My husband will not touch me. He just won't be as likely to initiate or take you up on the offer as frequently as he may otherwise. If your intimacy levels have dropped since that promotion he got at work, or you just feel like hes not being very affectionate with you anymore, there is a possibility that he is cheating. 1. Its possible that he simply wants you to leave him alone and not worry about sex or intimacy at the moment. He doesn't feel confident about his body. For example, you might think that he wont touch you because he isnt attracted to you anymore or that it has something to do with the fight you had earlier today. You notice your partner wiping their face after kissing. I'm beyond frustrated. Giving your partner space allows them to miss you and hopefully reignite that passion in your relationship. 6. In either case, you should consider asking your husband explicitly for the things you need. For example, if a man is thoughtful but doesnt communicate well, reminding him that you wish he would share his thoughts more often will do nothing since hes already thinking of you. Believe it or not, this can significantly affect a mans desire to have sex. I highly recommend booking an appointment with a couples therapist or a sex therapist. Assuming that he's healthy and in a generally good mood, there's no reason he shouldn't be able to get an erection regularly. He Seems Preoccupied And Not Present With You One of the first things that affect the connection is the loss of presence. This way, your intimate life can be spontaneous again, rather than planned around your fatigue or stress levels. If he has to work for it, he will appreciate it much more than if you just gave him sex without any resistance. Rather than framing it in your mind as, "My boyfriend doesn't seem interested in me sexually anymore," try to be open-minded and curious about the root cause. He simply has a lower sex drive than you, and now that the relationship isnt so new, its becoming more apparent. Reply 3. The first thing you should do if your boyfriend doesnt seem interested in you sexually is figuring out why. All of a sudden he needs lots of "space" in the relationship. There's nothing wrong with enjoying some good old-fashioned self-love, but when you know for a fact that he's rejecting your advances in favor of masturbation, there's a problem. Some of these are: This is the most common reason why boyfriends will not touch their girlfriends. Dont give reasons about what went wrong because men typically hate complaining or blaming. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. However, if you find yourself concerned because you are experiencing an issue where your boyfriend wont touch you sexually, then maybe its time for some more serious discussion.