Take a much-needed break from your day to check out these 101 funny quotes we found in stand-up comedy, books, plays, celebrity Twitter and interviews, as well as movies and TV shows, guaranteed . Our obituaries editor is the author of several biographies, including these two: Orpheus: The Song of Life. Our plan was to have two children, a girl and a boy. Katy Funeral Home 23350 Kingsland Blvd Katy, TX WILLIAM ZIEGLER OBITUARY William Ziegler escaped this mortal realm on Friday, July 29, 2016 at the age of 69. Some of these are so pithy they should be written in stoneand some of them wereto make the funniest tombstones that actually exist. He was born in Auburn, N.Y., July 16, 1947, the son of the late Elizabeth Dunster Bacon and Frederick Neil Bacon. You can also check out our Pinterest Board on obituaries for inspiring ideas to help you craft an obituary that captures the essence of your loved one. If they are from another country and you have trouble understanding them, learn to listen with an accent., Never say mean things about anybody; they are poor souls to pray for.. We all fear death, yet none of us can Death. He retired from General Motors after 32 years of service. Emily DeBrayda Phillips obituary is hilariously self-written and self-aware about her existence and end: If you want to, you can look for me in the evening sunset or with the earliest spring daffodils or among the flitting and fluttering butterflies. His mantra of a girl in every port often led to a fight in every port. Thank you all for sharing my life with me.. When someone we love dies, we're faced with the reality that our own demise is imminent. The obituary finishes with details about the theme free funeral service that Stamps wanted. His funny obituary will have you smiling the whole way through and wishing that you had been fortunate enough to meet him. In her lifetime, Pink made contact time after time. Apparently not seeing his girl, Hillary Clinton, elected President was one of Stamps biggest regrets. The rest will say they can smell the Bacon burning. Andy Corren, a New York City-based writer and talent manager, according to NBC, wrote a very honest and hilarious obituary of his 84-year-old mother that was so good, it's gone viral. Related: The obituary of 94-year-old Mary Stocks is going viral, and no wonder: Her son wrote a funny tribute to his mom that's loaded with jokes. By the end of his funny obituary, you cannot help but be charmed by Harry Stamps. Authorities are baffled by the disappearance of the 88-year-old woman, how she gained access to the aircraft, and who the h*** taught her how to fly, the obituary reads. A regular Jane like me or you, Ms. Mary Anne Alfriend Noland passed just six months before the 2016 election, to which her obituary references an extreme aversion. Johanna Scarpitti, age 70, of New Castle, DE, passed away unexpectedly August 1, 2014 at her summer home. A funeral is a waste of harrrrrrd earned and harrrrrrd saved money that my family can use now. (It seems that MacDonald found his own regional accent funny. Each month from October until January 20th we will draw an email address to win 2 free tickets to our 2024 main event. Please note her change of address to her new place of residence, St Johns York Mills Anglican Church, 19 Don Ridge Drive, 12 doors away from Shelleys place.. Aaron was known for his long, entertaining stories, which he loved to repeat often. I remember being the bride in our Tom Thumb Wedding in first grade and performing skits for the 4-H Club later in grade five. Antonia W. Toni Larroux died after a battle with multiple illnesses: lupus, rickets, scurvy, kidney disease and feline leukemia. But the idea of writing a character who reads the obituaries as a hobby came fromwhere elsesocial media. Please give generously to covenanthousetoronto.cain memory. Five grandchildren made his life better with their visits. As a child I walked to the old Hazelwood Elementary School where teachers like Mrs. McCracken, Mrs. Davis and Mrs. Moody planted the seed that eventually led me to becoming a teacher. The women in his life were numerous. Yeah, no kidding. She is not dead. Seeing these two grow into who they were supposed to be brought a wonderful sense of meaning to our lives. My pain is enormous, but it pales in comparison to watching my wife feel my pain as she lovingly cares for and comforts me. A lifelong Cleveland Browns fan and season ticket holder, he also wrote a song each year and sent it to the Cleveland Browns as well as offering other advice on how to run the team. I passed peacefully with my eldest daughter, Brenda, by my side February 2, 2019 at 8:20 am. Raymond Alan Brownley of Pittsburgh (Ingram Boro), Pennsylvania, died on September 21, 2014, at the age of 82, but his larger-than-life persona and trademark stubbornness will not be forgotten. Scott E. Entsminger passed away on July 4, 2013. Oh wait, Im afraid its too late for questions. So I was born; I blinked; and it was over. If you want to live forever, then dont stop breathing, like I did. Kelsey Kremer - Des Moines Register. 48 Hours to 2 Weeks: Bloating, Embalming, and Placement in the Coffin. Instead of flowers, Walt would hope that you will do an unexpected and unsolicited act of kindness for some poor unfortunate soul in his name.. All whom loved her dearly and will never forget her tenacity, wit, charm, grace (when pertinent) and undying love and caring for them. 237 views, 1 likes, 5 loves, 12 comments, 2 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Harris Funeral Directors: Homegoing Service for Minister Beatrice Lee Wiggins. Plus, Ms. Lynchs sons note, Dangling her feet over a 5,000-foot cliff at the edge of the Grand Canyon so she could see what it felt like to feel the fear, taught us all the really good things in life are beyond the Do Not Enter signs. This is a woman after my own heart. Everyone who remembers him is asked to celebrate Walts life in their own way. Mary Pink Mullaneys obituary is chock-full of advice from both the most lovable and loving soul to grace Gods green Earth, apparently: If a possum takes up residence in your shed, grab a barbecue brush to coax him out. Sir Barry Alan Crompton Gibb AC CBE (born 1 September 1946) is a British musician, singer, songwriter and record producer. He then goes on to say:So anyway, I think I was a pretty nice guy, despite being a former punk and despite what some people would say about me. Now, to make it worse, I have robbed my beloved Mary Jane of a decade or more of the two of us growing old together and laughing at all the thousands of simple things that we have come to enjoy and fill our lives with such happy words and moments. It is not lost on his family that he died the very day that he would have had to spring his clock forward. I later graduated from Hamilton General Hospital School Nursing class of 1957B Best Class EVER! His daughter . When asked what his mother would have thought about the obituary, Sandy told TorontoStar,She probably would have laughed her head off theres no doubt about that, he said. For those of you who are wondering who assisted me in writing this it wasnt my husband, it wasnt my oldest, nor was it my youngest. He was rehired as a contract employee in June of 1993, doing the same job that he had been downsized from, and stayed until July of 1995. ), He shares his discomfort at the idea of people gawking at me as I lay in a coffin. Instead: Im being cremated and my ashes are being scattered (somewhere). For all of the Electronic Engineers I have worked with, Im sorry, but you have to admit my designs always worked very well, and were well engineered, and I always made you laugh at work. Mary and I are the ones who worked in Saudi Arabia for 8 years when we were young. Cry at the consecration, every time. The messages Ive received from complete strangers, hearing how impactful her words were, is the greatest gift my mother could have left us., She also acknowledged that her mother was an amazing writer: She always has been. Andy's saucy tribute to his mom, Renay Mandel Corren, was published this Wednesday in the Fayetteville Observer. I am survived by my OG Brenda, Tower Road; my three children, Tyler, Stratford, Ont., Lawrence and his wife, Lisa, St. Marys, Ont. Andy Corren, a New York City-based writer and talent manager, according to NBC, wrote a very honest and hilarious obituary of his 84-year-old mother that was so good, it's gone viral. Jonathan Cape; 17.99. Funeral services will be held on Monday, February 2, 2015 at 10:30 AM at St. Anthony of Padua Church, Fairfield. The obituary explains that Entsminger was a lifelong Cleveland Browns fan and that he respectfully requests six Cleveland Browns pall bearers so that the Browns can let him down one last time.. So if youre looking for 2 extremely large TVs from the 90s, a large ceramic stork (we think) umbrella/cane stand, a toaster oven (slightly used) or even a 2001 Oldsmobile with a spoiler (she loved putting the pedal to the metal), with only 71,000 kilometers and 1,000 tools that we arent sure what theyre used for. The most recent mean obituary to go viral tells the story of Kathleen Dehmlow. 2 / 14. rd.com, Getty Images . Tomorrow would be fine. We think he did it on purpose to. In 1972 Ron and I loaded the car with the 5- Bs and headed north to run a school bus company for over 20 years in Baysville, Ontario. I was Born in Salt Lake City, March 27th 1953. It will be led by Rev. Norma Rae Flicker Brewer, a resident of Fairfield, passed away while climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. Sadly, he was unable to attain his life-long goal of catching his beloved wife Judy cutting the cheese or playing the bum trumpetwhich he likened to a mythical rarity like spotting Bigfoot or a unicorn. He took extreme pride in his two grandchildren Harper Lewis (8) and William Stamps Lewis (6) of Dallas for whom he would crow like a rooster on their phone calls. When longtime Rolling Stone editor Harriet Fier passed in 2018, an obituary the Washington Post chronicled her colorful and interesting life. Written by his daughter, Amanda Lewis, this obituary is probably the funniest piece of literature we've ever read. Brewer died from hypothermia, after Mia ate Mrs. Brewers warm winter boots and socks. Toni had four sisters: Patty the elder, Kitty the cook, Lisa the lawyer and Pijithepiji. We recommend our users to update the browser. He started at Chestnut Run Site as a flunky in the weave area of the Textile Fibers Dept., and then was promoted to research assistant where he stayed from 1963 through 1972. Although a less than average life span, Jim did not live an average life. For his signature bacon and tomato sandwich, he procured 100% all white Bunny Bread from Georgia, Blue Plate mayonnaise from New Orleans, Sauers black pepper from Virginia, home grown tomatoes from outside Oxford, and Tennessees Benton bacon from his bacon-of-the-month subscription. Consider: Mary Agnes Mullaney (you probably knew her as "Pink") who entered eternal life on Sunday, September 1, 2013. There is suspicion that Mrs. Of 13 children in the family, I was the sixth born. He also dearly loved his children and grandchildren. Any sendoff for Toni would not be complete without mentioning her lifelong buddy Myrtle Jane Wingo Haas and her adopted daughters Liz & Laura. Big Al had strong beliefs in which he never waivered: dog shit makes the best garden fertilizer; Heinz ketchup does not belong on a hotdog; and PennDOT should be embarrassed of the never-ending construction, detours and potholes on Route 28. Eaten everything I wanted to eat. Go to church with a chicken sandwich in your purse. Patricia Harper passed away in her sleep, surrounded by her loving family, on 30th January. The recently deceased Heller was born in New Haven, Connecticut, after which, his daughters note, God thankfully broke the mold. The daughters go on to profile the lifelong jester: His mother was not immune to his pranks as he named his first dog Fart so she would have to scream his name to come home. Many years later he purchased a used pop-up camper for his family to travel in style, which spoiled his daughters for life. Her spirit is carried on by her six children, 17 grandchildren, three surviving siblings in New Joisey, and an extended family of relations and friends from every walk of life. and Haille and Lukas MacLeod, St. Marys, Ont. He is survived by his wife of 16 years, Pat Entsminger; a son, Aaron Entsminger of Columbus; a brother, Bill (Kathy) Entsminger of Grove City, Ohio; a sister, Lois Courtright of Galloway, Ohio; a sister-in-law, Carol Ferrall of Georgia; four nieces, Kristi Nunamaker, Allison Courtright, Emily Ferrall and Ashley Ferrall; a nephew, Benny Entsminger; his three dogs, Blackey, Shadow and Jezebel; his step mother, Lil Entsminger; a special aunt, Ginny Entsminger; and several cousins and other dear relatives. Just two years later when another baby girl was born, I became known as the middle sister of the infamous three Fisher Girls, and the world was changed forever. His spirit was released from his worn out shell of a body and is now exploring the universe. In college I worked at Vaughns Conoco on 45th South and 29th East. Sydney Elizabeth, Jacob McKay, and Emma Grace (all Uprights) have enriched my life more than words can say. He also took pride in his service during the Korean conflict, serving the rank of corporaljust like Napolean, as he would say. She is also survived by her sister, Edna Flicker Isacs. He is also survived by his son Jonathan Bacon and wife Beth of High Point; daughter Melody Kearse of Rock Hill, S.C., and son Bryan Kearse and wife Liz of Raleigh. Remember, newspapers will charge you by line, word . A funeral is a waste of harrrrrrd earned and harrrrrrd saved money that my family can use now. ), He also wanted his loved ones to honour his memory by requesting Congress to repeal Day Light Savings Time so that the nation could get back on the Lords Time.. I cannot begin to imagine not having Dad on the end of a phone or popping around at a moment's notice to assist, in his ever graceful manner, with any project great or small with which I happen to be needing advice or help, or to be with my children, Monica & Jamie. Friends may call one hour prior to the service, from 1-2 p.m., on Tuesday. His devout feistiness and stubbornness had served him well throughout his life. This will be sold to the highest bidder at her garage estate sale. An example of a eulogy from a son or daughter: " (Insert deceased individual's name) was the kindest, most loving person I've ever known. The myth. I thank you. Zieglers obituary also mentions his love for the morons and mental patients that he served with as a fireman, sending tasteless internet jokes, potted meat and his alcoholic dog Judge. Amongst the humour, Patterson addresses some serious topics, namelyhis love for his wife Mary Jane and his regret about smoking which depriving them of the chance to grow old together. After one undistinguished year at the University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill, Rick enlisted in the United States Air Force. Do not tear off the mailing label, Because if someone wants to contact me, that would be nice.. 13, 2008 Ida's marriage to Karl was a three ring circus, engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering. Say the rosary while you walk them. Take magazines youve already read to your doctors office for others to enjoy. Memorial donations may be made to the Palliative Care Unit at the Cape Breton Regional Hospital. Richard Norton Bacon (Rick) of Lumberton has left the building. Unlike previous times, this is not a ploy to avoid creditors or old girlfriends. You would pretend to cough, spit the food into it and thus was born the Stocks diet. Expect to find an alcoholic dog named Judge passed out at his feet. And if you dont believe it, just ask me. From Spruce Pine, N.C. to Barnwell, S.C. to Lake City, Fla., he survived buying a Buick LeSabre (the official car of geezers) and a heart attack that convinced him it was time to leave Florida unless he wanted to die young. He celebrated with yet another trip to a Cincinnati Reds game. In an interview withThe News Journalher daughter responded to the criticism that the obituary had generated:That was something between us and there was nothing that was going to stop me Even if I ended up getting bad reports and people going against me, it had nothing to do with them. Tim Schrandt of Spillville "made his last inappropriate comment" on March 29 and passed away after a "short" battle with cancer at age 63, as per the obit. James Jim Groth died on July 28th, 2015, from cancer, but not before he penned the most hilarious obituary ever. According to herobituary, the Waffle House lost a fiercely loyal customer in Antonia Toni Larroux on April 30, 2013. Following his wishes, there will not be a service, but well-wishers are encouraged to write a note of farewell on a Schaefer Light beer can and drink it in his honor. Pat Stocks, 94, passed away peacefully at her home in bed July 1, 2015. ), Between ICU, dialysis and physical therapy she selfishly refused to make the time to return them. In June, actor James Rebhorn, who died of cancer at age 65, left behind an obituary he penned himself. Woo were the last in a long line of hairy hogs that shared his bed and his affection. I proudly started my teaching career at that same elementary school in January 1968, and from there I went on to teach young children in the neighboring states of Virginia, Georgia, as well as Florida where I retired after 25 years. July 2, 2015. It hurts me to admit it but I, Mrs. Ron Hicks from Baysville, have passed away. Of course hequickly follows that up by saying that cremation will take place at the familys convenience, and his ashes will be kept around as long as they match the dcor and that anyone wearing black will not be allowed at the memorial service. He enjoyed outlaw country music: Waylon, Willie, Hank, Johnny. Theyre treasures that are irreplaceable and will go with me wherever my journey takes me. This funny obituary is full of fond memories of Toni that highlighther carefree nature and her unfailing sense of humour. It just goes to show that by adding a little humour to an obituaryand straying from tradition, you can give readers insights into yourloved ones unique personality (or your own) . The first tip when writing a funny obituary is to know when it's important to be serious. I was a very private person in life, so I dont want to end that life with people gawking at me while I lay in a coffin. He drifted off this mortal coil on March 9, 2014 at his home. I could have left that unsaid, but I wanted to get it off my chest. Scott E. Entsminger, 55, of Mansfield, died Thursday, July 4, 2013 at his residence. This Depression baby was ahead of his time with being green, as evidenced by the approximately 87 I Cant Believe Its Not Butter containers stacked neatly in his kitchen cupboard. Go to a nursing home and kiss everyone. Protect Your Loved Ones from Identity & Property Theft, Learn the Inside Scoop on Death Notices & Obituaries. So many things in my life seemed of little significance at the time they happened but then took on a greater importance as I got older. She then describes his signature outfit as: a plain pocketed T-shirt designed by the fashion house Fruit of the Loom, his black-label elastic waist shorts worn above the navel and sold exclusively at the Sams on Highway 49, and a pair of old school Wallabees (who can even remember where he got those?) Writing an obituary can be a painful and unexpected event. that were always paired with a grass-stained MSU baseball cap. Even more baffling are her childrens contradictory assertions of her life: some swear shes a pastry chef and freelance food critic, a professional gambler and race car driver, a square dancer, a botanist who ran a chain of recreational marijuana dispensaries in Washington state, and more. In high school, he was in the band The Asparagus Children, which reached critical acclaim in the northern suburbs. BookTrib got to chat with Jill Orr, author of the Riley Ellison Mysteries about how to plot a murder, writing from the millennial perspective, and what's coming next.